Jokes (2)

Husband went Fishing

One man’s hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house.
He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. “What terrible weather today honey,” he said to her. “Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!” she replied.

law   cpll   45665

rudolph   bang   beer

crazy-pills   ccbb   mean

Fishing in a Frozen Lake

It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn’t believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish.

Finally, the old man couldn’t take it any longer. “Son” he said, “I’ve been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You’ve been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?” The boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm.” “What was that?” the old man asked. Again the boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm.” “Look,” said the old man, “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.” The boy spat the bait into his hand and said… “You have to keep the worms warm!”

last-time   hearingaid   nope

funny1   fail   snore

Fishing or Church

One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing. To which the boy replied, “Yes, ma’am, he did. My dad said that he didn’t have enough bait for both of us.”

ggg   hdl   dpw

bff   froze   frt11

Newly Weds

A couple was on their honeymoon, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to her husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”

The husband replies, “That’s no big thing this day and age.”

The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”

“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”

“Tiger Woods.”

“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed
with him.”

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

“What are you doing?” asks the wife.

The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love to his wife a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

“Now what are you doing?” she asks.

“I’m still hungry, so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love to his wife a third time.

When they finish, he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”

“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what’s par for this damn hole.”

smiles   veg   treat

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